One of my close friends brought over lunch AND dinner AND snacks for my kiddos and got me coffee and Chikfila while my husband was on a work trip.
That totally wrecked me.
I didn’t fully realize until then that I had believed a lie.
A lie that said the only way for me to be successful as a mom was for me to do everything myself. Accepting help would be a sign of failure. (Which it is NOT.)
I felt I needed to earn it in some way…I had the hardest time letting it be what it actually was: a gift of love from a friend who cared.
Growing up, it was just us and our mom during the day. My dad worked a regular 8-5 job and would sometimes get home late, depending on the day and what was required at work.
A majority of what I saw my mom do, was what seemed like pretty much everything. I saw (and still see) my mom as a successful mother and someone to emulate, so I tried my best to be like her in the ways that I knew how.
I ended up COMPARING myself to what I PERCEIVED of the motherhood job my mom did. I couldn’t do it. I was miserable.
Comparison really is the thief of joy.
Our surprise lunch started out super happy and towards the end I felt really depressed and sad. I’m pretty sure it’s because I couldn’t reconcile my friend’s generosity with my urge to EARN EARN EARN.
I believed that I was somehow unworthy of a friend’s help, even though she did this just because she WANTED to help me and bring a smile to my face.
Yes, having twins and a total of 6 children ages 6 and under is a WHOLE other thing and can be very hard. But, I thought I had to prove I could do it to someone…God? Myself? Friends? Family? The world?
HA. Nope. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
And needing help is okay.
Also, NOT being the hero and “doing it all” is definitely okay and actually really healthy.
My worth and worthiness are solely dependent on what God says about me and the value He has placed on me.
And THIS is the value that He has put on me and YOU:
““For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him.” - John 3:16-17 AMP
I will have banner days and other days I want to end so I can try again tomorrow, but NONE of that has ANY bearing whatsoever on my worth and worthiness as a person and as a mom.
And this is what God says I am: His daughter, worthy, loved, pleasing, desirable, righteous, valuable, beautiful, and strong. All of this is the truth and it cannot be changed because God doesn’t change His mind. What He says, goes.
“God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken and will He not make it good and fulfill it?” - Numbers 23:19 AMP
“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].” - James 1:17 AMP
“So will My word be which goes out of My mouth; It will not return to Me void (useless, without result), Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.” - Isaiah 55:11 AMP
So, mama? Can I encourage you to go to God with all of your insecurities and worth issues and get what He has to say about it all? I guarantee it’s not as bad as you think and you are doing far better than you believe.
And.
You. ARE. Worthy!
Because God loves you and says you are worthy. No other opinion or “truth” matters.
Be loved!
Be blessed!
Be empowered in your mothering!
You’ve got this mama.
Xoxoxo
Kristi
The Motherhood Revolution™ 