That stink eye.
Or the adoring look that just melts your heart.
You’ll see both (and much more) from the wonderful children you call your own.
In the midst of it all, we are trying our HARDEST to be good moms, right?
Beautiful mama, I’m here to tell you that your true worth, value, and identity are NOT contingent on what your children think (or appear to think) of you.
There will be ups and downs of all kinds and all sizes.
One moment, they may praise you to the skies, and the next, they may say something incredibly hurtful and disrespectful.
This is simply how life goes. We live in an imperfect world. It’s not happy or good all the time, nor is it unhappy or bad all the time. It ebbs and flows and we get to be moms in the middle of it all.
Mama, your worth, your value, and your identity are determined by God alone. No one and nothing else should be doing that, and if there is, it’s creating a false identity and incorrect worth and value judgements about you.
Throw. That. Stuff. OUT.
And by stuff, I mean lies. Satan just looooves to play with what we see and hear and twist it to serve his dark purposes. He’s only here to steal, kill, and destroy you, and he doesn’t play fair. He finds every in and every angle possible and nothing is off limits for his attack strategies.
If he can get you to believe your child(ren) hate you by how they look at you, he will do it.
If he can get you to believe your “status” as a “good mom” relies on how happy your children are (or appear to be), he will do it.
If he can get you to believe you’re a terrible mom and not worth much based on how much housework is unfinished and how often you yelled at your children, he will do it.
If he can get you to start speaking any of this out loud or at least stick it on eternal replay in your mind, he will do it.
His angle is to change the way you think about yourself and your children. To believe lies about yourself and them, and to start speaking them out, because WORDS HAVE SO MUCH POWER.
“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
Our minds are SO powerful, and our words more powerful still.
“What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.” Proverbs 18:21 GNT
Be. Careful.
You are a good mom whether your children praise you or hate you because that’s what God says you are.
Your child(ren) may be incredibly mad at you and shoot daggers out of their eyes at you, but that just means they’re mad.
That’s.
It.
Refuse the invitation to extrapolate that into an inaccurate judgement of the job you’re doing as their mom.
Just because your child is mad at you or even hates you, at that moment, does NOT mean you are a worthless human being and a bad mom.
NO.
And just because your child is showering you with praise does not mean you are an even better mom than you were two seconds ago.
NO.
Those. Are. LIES.
Kick them out of your head the minute you notice them arriving. (If you need help with this, read my earlier blog post, “Lies of Motherhood”.)
The other part of this “mind battleground” is you will need God’s perfect truth to replace any and all lies you’ve kicked out of your head and heart.
Here are some of the things He says about you and me:
You are loved.
“The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV
You are precious and KNOWN.
““I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart...”” Jeremiah 1:5a NLT
You are beautiful.
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.” Song of Songs 4:7 NLT
You are strong.
“And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.” Nehemiah 8:10b AMPC
You are chosen.
“And in love he chose us before he laid the foundation of the universe! Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence.” Ephesians 1:4 TPT
You belong.
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, He who feeds his flock among the lilies.”” Song of Solomon 6:3 AMP
You are righteous.
“But to the one who does not work [that is, the one who does not try to earn his salvation by doing good], but believes and completely trusts in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God).” Romans 4:5 AMP
You are forgiven.
“I am writing to you, little children (believers, dear ones), because your sins have been forgiven for His name’s sake [you have been pardoned and released from spiritual debt through His name because you have confessed His name, believing in Him as Savior].” 1 John 2:12 AMP
You are set free.
“So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” John 8:36 NLT
You are His beloved child.
“But those who embraced him and took hold of his name he gave authority to become the children of God!” John 1:12 TPT
I heard a quote, once, that goes something like this: “if you live by the world’s praise, you will die by its censure.”
If our identities are tied to our children’s approval or disapproval of us, then the above saying will become true in our lives. And that’s not okay.
Our value and our identity as a mother comes only from God, not what we perceive our children think of us.
Let’s get what God has to say and make that the bedrock of our lives. Then the next time all Hell breaks loose and things get wild and crazy, we will be able to safely go through that storm and not have our identity, worth, and value swept away by the current.
It WILL be okay, mama. I promise!
With God, all things are possible, and He is with you and for you! No weapon formed against you can prosper. Ever.
Much love and hugs,
Kristi
Xoxoxo
The Motherhood Revolution™ 