How Many Children Is Enough?

The question of how many children to have is a big one. A veritable “elephant in the room”.

There are many people out there who would tell you that three children is too many and four children is not enough. Or one child is one too many because the “world is overpopulated“ (totally NOT true…in fact, the world population is decreasing at an alarming rate…just look up the stats).

Everyone has their own opinions on this subject. And. That’s. Okay. We are all made uniquely different from each other. I believe that each woman has a different capacity and a different dream for the size of her family, and IT’S ALL GOOD.

Really.

It would be super boring if we were all the same!

Anyway, in the grand picture of childbearing, on one end of the spectrum, there are those who say you *must* have children, will throw Bible verses at you, and the more children you have, the better. Then, on the other end, like I mentioned above, there are those people who truly believe there’s too many of us on the planet and the most noble thing to do is to *not* have any children at all.

I would dare say that most women probably fall somewhere in between those two extremes. Sooooo, what are we to do?!

Have. As. Many. Children. As. You. Want.

There, I said it. Maybe I’ll say it again.

You can have as many children as you want!

The number of children you desire and/or have has no affect whatsoever on God’s view of you. He still loves and cares for you the same whether you have zero children or twenty, if you struggle to get pregnant or have no issues at all. None of this has permission to determine your value, your identity, how lovable, or “how holy” you are…that is determined by God alone, and He already did that when He sent His Son Jesus to die for you and me.

If you try to turn childbearing into a sort of religion, it will kill you on the inside. Instead of excitement over having your first child or another child, it becomes a dreaded thing and the amazing joy that should be there is gone. It’s easy to see it as a chore, a duty, and something that might ruin your life forever. None of that is motivating in the least for having children!

That’s not what God intended. Yes, in Genesis He commands Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply”, but that’s where the command ends. There are no following verses that tell a woman just how many children she is supposed to have.

I truly believe that God made us each with a specific plan, purpose, and destiny, and if you are born a female, you also have the ability to bear children. Pretty cool!

Okay, I’ll address the other elephant in the room…*should* you have children?

That is something you need to work out solely between you and God. Whatever Jesus places on your heart, that is what you should do, and believe me, it’s going to bring you peace and joy and life fulfillment because that’s how He works.

“But what about the command in Genesis to be fruitful and multiply?!”

While I also believe and know there is a blessing in obedience, we all are born with free will and can choose what we want to do with our lives. You can choose to have children or choose not to have children.

I personally definitely advocate for having children because I have seen (and am seeing) how much richer they make my life. I am a much less selfish person than before I had children, I am gaining about a zillion new skills that I know will help me later on when they’re grown, and I get to experience unconditional love and forgiveness on a daily basis. Now, are there yucky parts and times when I want to quit? Yes! But I figure that’s all part of doing something that will change the world. It’s GOING to be hard sometimes, but it’s totally worth it in the end.

Let’s conclude this with some hope and love…

Sweetheart, you were MADE to mother. That means all of the things you need to do the job, you already have. God Himself put them there when He created you. He wants you to mother how He created YOU to do it, so ask Him what that means and what it looks like!

It’ll be one of the biggest and greatest adventures of your life.

Much love and blessings!

Kristi

Xoxoxo