You Are Not Your Mom

You aren’t.

You. Are. You.

I know, super basic, right? But really, it’s a profound truth that we all need deep down in our hearts.

All those things that she did or didn’t do have absolutely no bearing on the job you’re doing right now in motherhood. (P.S. You’re a good mom!!!) Can we be influenced by our mother’s choices, habits, and personality traits? Yes! That’s okay and pretty normal.

The only thing that won’t work is if we try to be our mothers to our own children.

It won’t work. In fact, it’ll probably backfire.

1. At the most basic, biological, soul-and-heart level, you are TOTALLY DIFFERENT from your mom. There is only one you and only one her. No two are ever the same.
2. The circumstances surrounding your mother’s choices and style of mothering are very different from your own. For example, the time period you are living in as a mom is not the same one that your mother was living and raising you in.
3. She was made to be your mom and you were made to be her daughter, just as you were made to be YOUR children’s mom and they were made to be YOUR children. No one else was given your children…so they are just right for you and you for them.
4. Your children are different from you! The way that your children need to be mothered is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the way that you needed to be mothered. Your mom was not meant to mother your children, YOU were. Trying to be your mom while mothering your own children won’t work. So stop doing it. 😉

I find that in my own motherhood journey, I have looked back at what I remember of my mom in motherhood and have used it as a great place to start. For instance, there were things that I really liked about how she mothered me and my siblings, and then there were things that I didn’t like. Just knowing what those are have helped me figure out what to do (or not do), but they do not rule every single choice I make as a mom.

My children need ME to be their mom. They need YOU to be their mom.

So, be free! Figure out how YOU want to do things…it’s your household and they are your children, no one else’s. Take inventory of the things you want to keep from your mom, moving forward in your motherhood journey, and those things you want to leave behind. And then do it!

You’ll be a much happier, much better mom for doing it. And, you CAN.

Much love and blessings to you!

Kristi

xoxoxo